This morning I had no idea what I should write for this week’s blog post. Unlike other writers, I don’t have a blog schedule, but basically write whatever strikes my mind on that Monday morning. I mainly want to give others a sense of what it feels like to be a writer who is also working a full time job. So, before I started writing this morning, I went through my previous blog posts and it was a little depressing.
I made the realization that I really am not writing to my full potential. There always seems to be something that comes up which interferes with this dream I have had since I was a young girl. Whether health issues, a busy schedule for the week, or just plain procrastination.
And to be honest, there are plenty of days I really don’t like how I spend my time. I want to write more than anything. This is has been my dream since I was a young girl. Yet, I find myself going to bed at night and hating myself because I didn’t work on my writing like I had planned to.
Why is that? I had to ask myself this morning. Why do I allow everything else in my life to take precedence over my writing? And to be quite honest with myself, and you, I believe I am scared.
As I have stated, I have always wanted to be a writer. And I am. But when it comes down to actually getting writing done and following through, that is where I find myself coming up with reason not to do it. All because I am scared to death that in the end, I won’t be able to get my writing published.
This is a little absurd since I have already had a short story published, although it was quite a few years ago. But a short story is different than a novel. Writing a novel and having it published is the one thing I want more than anything in my life. And I’m so scared that it won’t happen, that I find ways to keep the rejection from even coming. If I don’t write the novel to begin with, I won’t ever have to face the fact that I am not good enough to get my writing published. At least that is what my subconscious says every time it comes to actually sitting down and getting writing done.
So, today I am making a stand! I promise myself that I will focus my time and energy on actually writing my novel. I’m not going to allow myself to do anything else until my writing goal for the day is completed. I’ll focus all my free time on becoming that writer who publishes a novel. This dream of mine will never be met if I don’t actually try for it.
I would love to hear from you about how you overcome any writing fears you may have. And from now on, my blog posts will be talking about how productive my writing weeks have been. This dream is still alive and even if in the end, I don’t get published, I will be able to say that from this day on, I did my best to make it happen.
Until next time, Keep Writing!