Have you ever just been in one of those moods where you don’t want to look, talk, or even hear anyone? You would much rather be home, curled up in a nice warm bed, reading a book than having to deal with your daily life?
I’m in one of those moods today. I don’t feel like being an adult today or dealing with anything remotely that resembles being an adult. In all honesty, I would love nothing better than to have a nice little temper tantrum. I wonder if maybe throwing myself onto the floor kicking and screaming would finally pull me out of this funk I have found myself in.
I started out pretty well this morning. Got up at my normal time and proceeded to follow my normal Monday morning routine. But as the morning has progressed, I have found myself falling deeper and deeper into a horrible mood.
The past half hour, I have spent trying to get this blog post written. I would get two to three paragraphs in with an idea I thought was wonderful and then delete everything. I attempted this about four times before I threw up my hands and opened Facebook.
I ignored my the website calling to me to post a blog. I ignore the little note in my notebook that told me that today was my day to write a post. I focused on reading other people’s Facebook posts and then switched to Pinterest to see what new and interesting recipes were available.
As I looked through Pinterest and saw all the articles about writing, I slowly found the connection with my mood. It wasn’t just a bad mood settling over me in the hopes of ruining my day, it was because of my failed attempt at writing. I had this idea for what I wanted my blog post to be about this morning and no matter how much I tried, I wasn’t able to get what I wanted onto the screen. I couldn’t express the thoughts and ideas that were floating around my head and this lead me into a foul mood.
As I sat here thinking about this, I realized this hasn’t been the first time this has happened either. There are multiple times I can associate my mood being dictated because of my writing. Not only when I couldn’t quite express what I wanted to, but also by just what I was writing.
Although I have been desperately trying to focus only on my novel planning, there was a few days toward the end of last week when I was just drawn to work on a piece I have been toying with off and on for years. I sat and started to write a scene I’ve tried writing over and over. It is a sad scene from the story that I’ve avoided, but on this day I needed to get it out of my head. As I wrote this scene, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into the depressed mood I was trying to portray in my writing. And it was one that lingered for the rest of the night, even after I called it quits on my writing for the day.
There are other times that the mood I was in to start with had a tendency to reflect on what I wrote. If I was having a bad day, I would write a darker scene. And the opposite would be true if I was having a really good day. The more I thought about this, I realized that my writing has a big affect on my mood and the reverse was also true. How could it be that it took me this long to actually realize this? I don’t know but it will definitely help as I continue on my writing path.
Now that I’ve written this post, do I feel better? A little. I still would rather be curled up with a good book than sitting at my desk, but some of the darkness has lifted. Hopefully, as the day progresses, I will feel even better.
So, the next time you find yourself in a horrible mood, think about what your current project. Could it be that sending you into a temper tantrum type of mood? And please share with me some of the ways you have handled it. I would love to hear it.
Until next time…Keep Writing!